What The Heck Am I ???

Well.. todays’ date quite special.. 06/06/06.. throw the "/" and "0" away and it will become 666 which is the Favourite number of Mr. S.A. Tan … oh man.. lucky his surname is Tan..Not Tang.. Damn.. Being different with only one abjab, sometimes i wonder why i cant behave like him.. Ya fren, guess what.. there are bunch of time i wan to sign a contract with him.. Being a bad-ass forever.. Well.. i guess this Mr. TAN are quite a good lawyer.. preparing such a good contract for all to fall on it, or may be he is such a good marketing manager, good in finding his client or partner.. whatever he is, he is a good prey, who always get his victim/food….

Altho often failed in signing contract with this Mr bad-ass lawyer TAN, I start to pissed off of myslf.. What the heck are me?? I guess im just a stupid bad-ass who are even worthless than MR.TAN.. on top of all, i just cannot change myslf.. What do u think huh?? For what reason i need to hurt myslf in order to save others?? For What reason i need to be persecuted after the goods that i offer?? Some ppl may just pass by droping a crap sounded " HAPPY ARE THOSE WHO ARE PERSECUTED " (Mathew 5:10).. well.. you are happy is it when u spit those words out of your mouth??.. by saying those words  you think u can be free from your fault is it? Cant u just say sorry to me?? . Or may be in the first place YOu dont even think thats your fault??  Well, to all my frens back in sarikei, tell ya the truth.. awareness camp means a lot to you guys ya?? BUT It brings nth more than hurts i bear in heart until now.. Everytime i try to reflash back my sweet memories, i will end up on bed without sleeping.. not tat i dont wan to sleep, but i cant sleep.. do you understand that?.. no one understand that?? or you all do understand yet try to behave stupidly and act like there’s nth happened back there.. The only sweet memories i got is a two ppl memories with corinne.. Thats all.. and nothing more than that… How i wish i do leave that place four years ago.. I dont understand why i need to bear all that hurts….worth or not?.. How much longer do i have to behave like this??. behave like there’s nth happen between us?.. oh ..sorry i just cant bear it anymore.. well.. to some frens who knew nth, you will never know and expect how much im being hurted after what i try to do for the sake of other ppl…
To all the friends who knew what is happening.. come comfort me a bit..  settle it here.. dont call me, dont sms me, dont email me..settle it below this post.. there’s nth i afraid to review of…

well.. having difficulties to put more trust on ppl, lead me to lost a lot of frens..  well.. ok..in this matter i wont blame others..its my fault.. i act like shit… feel good???
To Anna and Amy.. really sorry for what i caused… thanks for everything also..
well.. there’s a friend whom i treasure much, im sorry that i do wrong.. ROSE, if u saw this.. i want to say sorry..hope you wont mind much what i said last time..
last of all.. corinne, no matter what i do or what will i do, i cant turn things back.. May be you already walk to the front and continue ur own way of life.. good luck..  as for me… i choose to burst everything out… well..what to hide.. this is me.. so what?.. burst it out in order to continue my life without impact from the past…