What The Heck Am I ???

4.35am.. The exact time now.. I guess i need to make some new resolution.. My faith is droping once again.. So many things happened since CNY until now.. I hope HE will have a good explaination why my life should go these way.. CNY 2007 is almost the best CNY I ever have in life excluded those childhood experiences.. I tot that good things will keep on happening after CNY.. I’m suppose to be able to stand on the stage to fulfill the dream that I once almost gived it up.. GOD.. You shud have taken away all my desire to continue the dream that time.. Why let me continue to do something which is not mine at the end??  Lord.. Did You ever forget about me?? I’m serving You in the right place is’nt I ??

__________________________________________My Lord.. This is the worst Lent Season I’d ever go through.. I almost behave like non-christian who care nth for Your death.. Mahjong, Foul words, and losing faith in wat I’m believing for.. Still felt lonely in my cold chair.. PC is what accompany me always.. All my friends said, " Its ok to lose someone, God must have His own reason.. He is preparing someone who is better for you" .. But where’s mine?? 2 and half years are more than enuf for me to get through all action.. I’d been searching coz of my disobedient, But now I’m stated down waiting for the one to come.. Lord, will You ever forget to plan for me?? Will you be too busy settling all the prayers until you forgeting me, the one once You used as Your instrunment?? Without attention from You my Lord, I may ended up choosing another road which comforted me more..

_____________________________Like all the other childs You have… I hope You will remember my name.. I’m Jimmy… Registered in Your kingdom as Titus.. and I confirmed my desire to serve with the name Leo.. To become Pope is not my goal.. St. Jimmy just my dreams… I just want to have a chance to step on Your altar in heaven..

_________________To really make a differents, is not about changing the world.. It’s about changing you yourslf and let the changes in you influence your sorounding… Remember, when you helped a person or make a person happy today, you already made a difference to the world..