Enough.. Im done with all the innocents things d.. My journey to the truth will ends here today.. I wont continue on in this same path that Id taken for the past 20 years.. Im faded up.. Now i will take a dif road… This blog will ends here today too.. JiNG will not be the same anymore forever.. Will GOD continues to be my strength?? GOD knews…
Last JiNG
What is true love?? My answer to those who asked me, will be " I no longer believe in True love".. but.. whats the true love i mean here?? is it 真爱 in chinese?? Cinta Sejati in Malay?? I guess i never think about it.. all i know.. There’s no such thing as " We are fated to be together".. I dont believe in "Jodoh".. May be thats why i said i dont believe in True love?? Did i mistaken between True love and Destiny??
I told one of my good fren that i no longer believe in true Love since three years ago.. now to think back.. may be before three years ago i oledi not believe in true love.. or in more simple words, I never believe in True love before… What make me think like tat? Its because, I still remember what i told my ex when she questioned about my love to her.. i remember i said something like this " I dont know what will happen tomolo.. I can’t said that I will love you forever.. Thats why i cant promise you to love you forever.. It will only be a lie if U want me to promise all that.. " .. Believe it or not, this is wat i said.. but i really dont remember why i said like that at that time.. is it because i never believe in True love?? or Because im playing words with my ex?? cos the convesation continue like this " But this is wat i can promise u.. Each day, i will put effort to increase my love towards u … by this, my love wont disappear.. and thats why i said, both way is playing important roles.. not only me alone..We are bf and gf.. i need you to help me to increase my love to u also.. if u promise to do that.. i can assure u i can maintain.. " .. haha.. thats how confidence i am at those days.. But things doesnt goes well in our way, and i failed to fulfill my promise..
So now whomever ask me whether i believe in true love or not.. i will deny and say that i wont believe in true love anymore.. Today i love you with my whole heart..to the bottom of my heart, even if i cross my heart for u .. doesnt means that tomolo will still love you the same.. Want or not.. i guess this is the fact we face in our life… I’m just try to be more realistic that im daring myslf to write all this.. May be after i write " i dont believe in true love" , i might ended single for the rest of my life.. hahaha.. But who cares?? Im just try to be more honest.. altho i realise the fact that gals nowaday dont really care about that.. they might like all those sweet sweet talks.. or all those words playing tricks.. I’m fade up with all those things d.. So.. any gal wanna come and try?? HAHa…
to all my fren.. whats your perpective about TRUE LOVE or DESTINY(JODOH)??
mind to leave few words below to let me know??
jing…
Few picture for you….
YinZi Acoustic Group
Course Trip With CourseMate
Penang Worship Seminar.. Im the only one that doesnt get effected by the Holy Spirit during HIGH PRAISE~!.. shit.. GOD dont love me??
This is what i become when no body love me.. HAHA
30 more minutes and it will be her birthday.. What I’m gonna do to wish her a happy birthday?? Have I really put it down oledi?? I guess I already did it.. but somehow, the uncomfortable feeling still there.. Do i have courage to wish her?? Will I be disturbing if i wish her at 12am?? Because I’m sure that guy will prepare everything to make her happy.. She doesn’t need a wish from me to make her birthday celebration a great one rite?? But her answer will be " I appreciate and hope for your wish really, because you are my good fren".. HaHa.. I guess I’m gonna wish her anyway ..
What I did today ?? Start from this morning.. when I wake up, guess what i did.. guess.. guess.. can guess ?? hehe.. Of coz i go and brush my tooth lar.. and wash my face.. Thats what i did everyday after i wake up.. But today quite special.. haha.. Guess what i did?? haha.. I went to my bathroom.. thinking to brush my tooth and wash my face at the same time.. so.. i took up my facial foam.. then my brush.. then i start to brush my teeth.. without realising that i put the facial foam on the brush not "darlie".. OMG~!! The taste damn terrible and yet i brush for so long.. shit shit.. haha..
Then for tonite, i look back to some old photos.. flashing back my old memories.. Below are some of the photos.. during the lundu trip.. I miss you all friends..
FIR in Red.. hehe
Roti and Toast in Kuching
Memories Stay On~!! See ya guys soon…
Happy Birthday Corinne.. Thanks for everything..
Shalom to everyone.. Im just back from mooncake festival.. I already tried my best to make this lantern festival a happy one.. But seems like it didnt hits my expectation… Not that the organizer not good enuf.. but I cant control myslf well enuf.. Keep all the feeling in my hearts.. make it burns so much and its hurt… I try to behave like nth happen, but some frens still can see tro me.. really sorry lar.. I tried my best to raise the mood up… Cant spend time to celebrate a special occasion with the one that u love, Its really a burden to be carried.. To think that she is spending her special moment with other guy, OMG.. Altho i said i will be her best fren, but the feeling is still there.. How many days should i take to totally forget about it?? how many months do i need? how many years are enough for me? Is it a mistake for me to declare that i will be her best fren?? Should i really forget her totally even as fren?? Sometimes i really want to be selfish.. care for nth else but my own feeling..
To all good guy out there, any recipe for me?? Or to all gal out there.. can let me know what u ppl really want?? I need something more practical.. something more logical.. Sorry that everytime i write my post..it will be sad or down one.. and i always ask for help… but i guess.. thats me rite?? come on..I said i will learn to let go..doesnt mean that i can archieve it in one day.. I really hope .. someone will support and care for me.. You wanna say that im desperate.. yes..im a kind of desperate.. desperate for care and concern..
JiNG
Hallow friends.. Here is my new post.. I wanna write something about "Let go when its time to let go" .. JiNG never knew how to let go one thing when he lost it.. He will took it seriously deep into his heart and this way always hurt him..
Well..recently i faced with MANY obstacles but only ONE lesson.. "you must let go when its time for you to do so".. I guess.. its time for me to really learn.. but how hard is it really? Is it possible for me to do so? To totally forget about my feeling towards something and yet still can be so close to it… If wan me to forget everything and not even remember her as fren.. i guess i can make it.. But to not love her and yet be her best fren, its something i really need to learn..
What make me think of letting it go?? Because if i didnt let it go.. It hurts both way.. I make myslf desperate, frustated.. and in the same time i will hurt her and make her felt uncomfortable.. Continue on like this will only brings bad results.. May be its really a histories for me.. May be I should really go for the one i love now.. All this while I always thought that if i cant let go the old one, its not fair for me to go for new one.. Sometimes even if i try to, it will fail because my heart is not there.. All ppl around you already continue on with their life and keep on moving towards their dreams, what will you archieved by standing there regreting about the past??
Recently my puppies dies.. the saddest one is not me, not my housemate.. its their mom.. the puppies mom, as i wrote this, she still crying outside..frustatedly.. finding her child.. keep on finding ways to come in our house for she though we did something to her child.. Last nite, she steal all our shoes and hide it in the bush.. No matter how much effort we try to sumbat all the lubang, she still trying her best to come in.. when we going out, she will look at us with somekind of eyes.. Me and my friends keep on saying to her " mei you liao lar ( no more d ) ".. study until uni standard , of coz we know she wont understand wat we say.. but we really hope she can let it go d.. until now.. im still felt very sorry for her.. its our fault that we didnt really take care of them.. sorry..
Well.. The Puppies’ mom really show the love of a mom.. i never see dog give such respond.. I can assure you, if you were here, you will feel ashame of yourslf and humankind somehow.. even a dogs love their child so much.. how come some moms just throw away their newly born son in the bush?? Even a dog appreaciate the life so much.. Dont we need to be ashame that we didnt appreciate our life enuf??
I know im declaring over and over again.. but Im really trying to move on with my life.. Pls pray for me.. I will let go.. Keep on moving forward.. continue on to be a good guy.. and continuing all my resolution… Thanks everyone.. Thanks GOD…
JiNG
At the time when im sad.. These few puppies came to my house.. its like a gift from GOD… to entertain me.. to comfort me.. watching their cute action will simply make me laugh and smile..
Two month passed and the puppies had grown up little bit.. but still a small puppies.. friend of mine bought some puppies food for them.. the last time i bear dogs is last 8 or 9 years ago.. This afternoon when i saw them.. i was thinking.. Wah.. dunno what will happen after these few puppies grown up.. Now they will goyang their tail when im back from class.. they will run to me… and im happy to see all those act..
But now every dream and hope were destroyed.. all three of them die crash by car.. i know its my fault also didnt take care of them properly(sorry david).. but.. they not suppose to die tat way.. damn.. good bye forever to all my lovely puppies.. haih..sad sad.. were then an angels?? Came just to make me happy and comfort me when im down.. now that im ok the just leave me like that?? shit.. what a plan.. haih..
sad Jing
This time..in my blog..I’m gonna discuss about a word… A famous word that used by many ppl in this world especially in Malaysia. Cibai~ is the word.. First of all.. sorry for all who felt offended by my word.. sorry.. Please leave now if you are under 18.. haha.. continue on if u really sure you can stand the mental’s attacks..haha.. jk jk.. ok..continue..
Often in my daily life, i use this word to release my stress.. more often than you all ever imagine..but hey, somehow it really works.. haha.. here the example..
1. First case, when the gal you love told you got a very nice guy who treat her so good even to the sligthest things… |||~~!!!! Cibai~~!!! will come out from my mouth.. then i will felt little bit better..
2. Second case, she message you telling you that she is now beside the airport counting aeroplane that took off..I will say So?? what so big deal..But her message continue on like this.." Im alone with him"… |||~~!!!! Ma Cibai~~!!! will come out from my mouth…then i will felt little bit comforted..
3. Third case, she message you on the next nite, telling you that she is now at the beach you once told her to go, listening to the wave’s sound you once told her you were listening.. and again with him alone… |||~~!!!! Ma ke Cibai~~!!! will come out from my mouth… then i will felt little bit released..
4. Fourth case, she sent a sms to you sound like this " He is really so nice, I never met with guy so gentlement like this before, knew him for three month already(altho its just two month since she first come here, really dont understand how can she knew him for three month) he still haven show any weakness.. and keep on saying he is a nice guy… |||~~!!!!Nia Ma ke Cibai~~!!! will come out from my mouth… then i will felt little bit pissed off..
5. Fifth case, when you ask her hows are them already, she just say, "getting better when time passes..just surrender everything, he really so nice.. " Guess what will come out from my mouth??
>
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>>>>>
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>
|||~~!!!!……………………………………..
Now i’m really Cibai jor……..~~!!!!!!!!!
then i will felt a little bit "going to hell" feeling.. haha.. shit lor.. say out so many foul words.. im sure i will need to pray 100 rosary to pay it back.. shit shit..
Ok friends.. Thats me.. Its been my daily routine to say foul words.. I still remember last time when i make myslf a resolution not to say foul word d, by replacing the C*B*i words with Zie Yai… which means "terung" in foo chow.. but after coming out here.. foochow word cant be use any more.. so my bad habit coming out again.. haha.. Practicing it everyday while playing DOTA.. example… Choi lan C*b*i, ask you dont "CHong" lor.. or Ma Ge Hai…Come help lar… Hero Missing tell lar… Ma de…
OK OK OK …stop all the foul words d… i guess most ppl say bad words.. at least thats what i heard here.. i will try to change but i guess its not really easy to change this Stresss-released habit.. haha.. So.. do u guys felt better after spitting those word out of your mouth? hehe.. and for those who surprise to see my post here.. i guess you really dunno me.. hehe.. This all for now.. bye bye…
JiNG
No more with my probrem and down feeling.. This time, I’m gonna blog about angels that i met in my life.. Do you ever had friends that you knew for a period with good impression and yet now you dont even know his/her whereabout?? Here are mine…
First angels, when my family goes into bankruptcy condition, we move to a rural area somewhere from sarikei to sibu… We live with group of iban native and they are incredibly friendly, helpful, generous and etc.. I can’t remember much things there except for a gal who are 1 or 2 years older than me. She was my neighbour and always played together.. She like a sister to me and i appreciate her very much, but my mom and brother keep on saying that those day ‘I really like her"".. aiya.. anything lar.. too small to fall in love lar… haha.. cut short the story, My father fall sick, whole family go to miri to visit him, and in the way back, i remember i bought a comb(sikat)as a sourvenier to her..sadly, when we arrived home.. their whole family moved to somewhere else d.. until now i dont remember her proper name, face, or whereabout.. may be she also one of my friends now, just that may be we dunno we were those main character in our memory.. Her name ..err… sounded like "kia"?? or "RIA"?? haha..
Second Angel, I wakil sekolah in ping ping when I was in year 4, 5. I met this guy in year 4 when i go to St. Mantin in "JAKAR"(a name of a place, dont terribly get it wrong).. Then i met him again in year 5 during our competition at Dewan Suara Sarikei. I remember we go for lunch together and get to know each other more.. eventually we become good friend, but we also a rival in ping pong.. because after our lunch.. I had a match with him.. official match.. Sadly and "paise’ly", his skill are much better than me… He try not to win much for first match but in second match he … he ., say sorry to me.. saying that his couch is standing there watching him.. jadi.. dia menang dengan cantik-nya.. after match, he quicky aproach me to apologize.. wah.. wat to apologize wor.. lose and win is the tradition of the game.. so we become close fren lor.. But year 6 i forfeit to play for school because i need to prepare for my UPSR… few frens blame me because i cause our school team cant compete.. sorry le.. i really dunno teacher will act like tat.. after the year 5 competition, i didnt have any chance to see him oledi.. hope he is still somewhere else around my network.. wei.. contact me if u were him.. haha..
wahh..too long liao.. still got few more.. but next time lar.. cukup lar for now.. haha.. bye…
Yo all.. Thanks for all your support and cares.. although not many left their comments in previous post, but a lot turns out in msn to comfort me.. Many said, Love are not the only things in these world that i should care of.. Some said, i should put more attention on my study since its my last year d.. they hope i wont regret in the later days…. One turns out saying all my friends are too soft to me.. He said how come no one confronted me to tell me that my english were and are still sucks?? haha.. sorry lar.. but thats my standard.. Fews just kept quite and lean their support to me in silence.. and few unexpected frens turns out to comfort me. May GOD BLESS you all..
JiNG is not only BACK~!! but will keep on moving forward in a faster speed.. solving and facing some problem off from my shoulder and heart make it easier to move on.. To God my Father.. I will find your purpose in me.. I will obey your words.. Again, this blog were not purposely wrote to show off but to remind myslf of the resolution i made.. To all my friends.. I no longer needs your words of comfort and courage.. but still need your prayers so that I may cling to GOD forever in this road of my life.. The journey from now onwards will be different than the path i took before, open your eyes.. I might overcome anything now.. Thanks to GOD…
JiNG
6.43pm Saturday , 090906
Well.. Actually I’m a shy person.. But the feeling was too great.. Its make me felt so terible that i really need to share it with you all.. The feeling was just like.. just like..err.. its hard to explain.. but still explainable by words.. so dont worry.. i will surely tell u one.. but before this.. pls do me some favor..
Below are peoples that need prayers a lot.. pls intercede for them.
1. Eddy’s grandma just past away… Let’s pray for her soul and may our Merciful LORD forgive whatever sins she have.. and may she ended up in HEAVEN..Pray for Eddy also, may the LORD bless him and heals the hurts he get after his grandma leave the world.. to GOD we pray..
2. Catholic Student Society of UPM.. They have been struggled so hard to do fund raising for one dream - to renovate the small chapel they have.. after almost one year, they manage to get some sum of money, start the construction after being approved by UPM.. Everyone is puting high hope in it.. but now.. something going wrong with the approval letters, and UPM authorities ordered them to stop the construction.. and also asked them to pulled off the "TIANG" that already finish.. Coz, in the approval letter, they make mistake.. saying only to make onning(watever the speeling is) means only extend the roof with the support of anything that attached to the wall, and not by TIANG on the ground.. Everyone is down.. Lets pray for them, may the LORD bless them, and grant them fruits on their spirit to built up the House of GOD.. TO GOD WE PRAY..
3. JESSICA YUNG KAM CHUI’s mom past away few months ago, the news might be too late, but prayers wil never be too late.. Lets pray for her mom’s soul, may she reach heaven safely.. LORD, may YOU bless and protect Kam Chui for all the hardship she gonna go tru after this.. TO GOD WE PRAY..
4. ONE whole bus crashed while in their way to celebrate feast of st.anne if im not mistaken.. LET’s pray for the victim of the accidents, may LORD see tro their hot spirit to celebrate holy day and bring them all to heaven.. TO GOD WE PRAY..
5. War occur between the chosen race of GOD with the lebanon.. Lets pray that the decendent of the ancestor of Christianity may realised their fault all this while and may come to accept YOU back LORD.. We pray for the peace of the world, pray for all the inocence victims, and to all national leaders, SHOWER YOUR Wisdom on them LORD, to make them realised the stupidness in them… TO GOD WE PRAY…
6. Ft.Summon [he is now critically ill in Fatima hospital Ipoh] says that "it is very easy to identify a pure lie especially in a religious belief but it is very-very difficult to spot half truth". Lets pray for this wise man to be healed and cured by the power of the LORD and may he continue to serve the LORD with the wisdom that GOD granted to him.. TO GOD WE PRAY..
7. Finally, lets pray for ourslf. Brothers and Sisters in Christ.. come… come to the shoulder of the LORD, can you feel the love? oh nice.. i felt the love.. its the love from HIM.. indeed it is.. can you feel it?? Do you wan to feel it? Come Brothers… Come Sisters.. Let us journey together on the path back to our HOMETOWN.. HE is waiting for us.. Can you feel the greatness of our LORD? once, HE show us HIS greatness with 9 planets in our solar system.. HE is eagerly calling us home frens, NOW HE show more greatness by adding three more planets to our histories ( xena, charon, ceres )…Praise the LORD… Amen.
(pray for me also for lying about the title.. haha.. if i wrote "pls pray", will you comes in?? some might, some won’t, but tats doesnt matter now, we are all destined here.. PRAISES still GOES to HIM.. LET ALL GLORY FALL ON OUR GOD.. AMEN. )
